the thoughts and aspirations of a wannabe

Is it a truck? Is it a car? I’m not really sure.

In A few of my favorite things, Being sassy, I Laugh in Your General Direction, Wish List on November 7, 2010 at 3:22 am

Alright, super short post, but it has to be said. Forget BMW 3-series convertible, I have a new dream car. It’s functional, it’s fashionable; it’s the Subaru Brat.

What a gem. When I first saw this exceptional specimen of a vehicle, I just started laughing at it. It is the silliest car I’ve ever seen. And no, I’m not joking; I actually really want one. I’m sure it would be incredibly useful.

Oh, what’s that? You need to pick up a large bundle of firewood? A small pony? You need space to schlep your extra lax sticks? Huh, looks like your station wagon can’t accommodate (yeah, that’s you, Sarah Kovan).

It stands for Bi-drive Recreational All-Terrain Transporter and was originally made from 1977 to 1987. Its newer reincarnations, pictured above, are called something silly like the Baja, which I simply choose to disregard, mostly because “Brat” sounds sassier.

But wait, it gets better. You know all those times when you’re driving your truck and think “It would be so convenient if I could fit just two more people in here”?

Tada. The older versions, as you can see, have passenger seats in the truck bed. How cool is that?

This, however, I find thoroughly offensive. Alright, it’s not perfect, but that’s why I find it so appealing. It’s like a warty pumpkin; it sort of grosses you out, but for some reason you still find the warts endearing. Or like when a baby vomits on someone’s shoulder–it’s still really cute. And that pretty much sums up any healthy relationship; you want to be with the ugly car because it has the awkward truck bed. You like someone because they have a Harry Potter obsession and strong opinions about FIFA 2010.

I don’t really know if it’s a car or a truck, but I’m fine with it either way. All I know is that I think the Brat and I would get along pretty well. So if you or anyone you know no longer has use for the sophisticated and elegant utility that the Brat has to offer, you know where to find me.

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  1. This was hysterical.
    I love you so much.

  2. i miss you a lot.
    and your future brat.
    also i got your mail. it was nice of you to call me big sis still.
    loveeee you.

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