the thoughts and aspirations of a wannabe

Archive for the ‘Great Decisions My Parents Make’ Category

‘Tis the Season for General Chaos

In Great Decisions My Parents Make, I Laugh in Your General Direction on December 5, 2010 at 5:48 am

In light of the Christmas spirit, my dad has been pounding on various hard surfaces and swearing inbetween his teeth for the past two weeks, as he has been reigniting a flame from his childhood by building a miniature train set.

It’s quite involved. The buildings light up, there are tiny little people and trees, even gravel streets. I assume this town is industrializing with the use of its own raw materials, as there is a giant freight train that otherwise circumvents it for no particular reason.

But his brand new engine continues to lose the cars it’s pulling, and occasionally my cat hops onto the structure, causing the engine to fall off the tracks (“Why do we even have any god damn animals?!”), which is apparently unfixable and results in him taking the Lord’s name in vain at great length. And at Christmas! Tsk, tsk.

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***CRAIGSLIST MARKETING 101***

In A few of my favorite things, Being sassy, Great Decisions My Parents Make, I Laugh in Your General Direction, Just not a fan, Peeves on November 25, 2010 at 3:15 pm

This morning I daringly decided to peruse the online marketplace for potential contenders to replace my former vehicle.

I say “daringly” because the subject of purchasing a new car is touchy with my parents. About three months ago after an argument that included, but was not limited to yelling, fist pounding, and four-letter words, my dad said it would be a “couple” months until we would be in the market for a car again.

If we’re adhering to the true definition of a “couple,” then it should be high time to hit Mike’s Discount Car Corral. But, then again, he very likely could have meant a “couple,” like, “I’m going to have a couple mini-donuts,” which always means around seven.

And by the way that he flatly answered my prodding questions of, “Do you think a Jeep Wrangler would be safe enough?” and, “Doesn’t $6000 sound like too much for a ’98 Jetta?” I’m thinking the number of months it will take to earn back my freedom is closer to the average mini-donut intake.

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